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A new entry/poem [Feb. 17th, 2006|02:28 pm]
Masticate. Munch… Mum…

Rain; pouring.
every inch of
my ill-favored insides.

I need something to
fill me up:
slice of bread,
half cup of
orange juice.

No mater
what I digest, or don,t,
the rain only
palliates my pang.

I need scent of my source.
My own arms can,t
cradle me so-
I weep.

My own hands can,t
my frustrated hair, can not
my bumped skin- like yours do.

So tomorrow
I will attack less
and juice.
To make more room for
the rain
to absorb into my
tired cavity.

Mum… Muuther...
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Wow [Feb. 4th, 2006|01:48 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |sadsad]
[mE mUSIc |Avril "You're different from me"]

It's definately been a long time since I have updated anything. I've noticed that not many people have been either. I miss everyone. I'm completely stressed out lately. I just have so much to do, and I need an extra me to do everything ontime, please everyone, and get it done good. I don't want to overload with a lot of things for fear that I might get mono again... That was a scary time. Ryan is supposed to come up for the night to see me. Now that he's student teaching, he lives in Exeter and teaches at Timberlane high. I miss him terribly. I'm exercizing a lot, and peope are telling me that I look like I'm losing weight... do me a favor? Don't tell me that. Because I remember it, and then think that I can afford to eat that "extra piece of cake"... I can't though... Whatever. Time for some interesting news! My jaw clicks every so often now when I talk or chew. It happened like twice in a row and felt like sand grinding in between my jaw, and I was like "What the fuck!?" Yay for me! Here is a picture of what my skull is going to look like when I die and decay. Beautiful, no?


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happy new year! [Jan. 1st, 2006|12:18 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |gratefulgrateful]
[mE mUSIc |Third eye blind "Semi-charmed life"]

I miss everyone already. I wish school was back in progress... Leah's birthday is coming up, and so is mine, AND my best Crystal... It's kind of weird. Crystal is the 9th, Leah is the 10th, and I'm the 11th. Wow. I have a present for Leah, Crystal... AND LINA. I already got an xmas present for Leah, and now I need to send one to Lina. I have it, and I think that she's really going to love it. Plus, The present I got for Leah (for her birthday) is sooo thoughtful. She's going to love me even more. But for now, Ryan is scraping off his car so we can go to Rogan's, I'm paying this time... It will be fun AND delicious. I miss and love everyone! Happy new year! I don't do drugs, but I thought this was funny.


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FUCK THAT!!! [Dec. 23rd, 2005|10:29 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |frustratedfrustrated]
[mE mUSIc |TV]

I'm tired of all this PC shit! MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS! People are waaaayyy to touchy-sensitive these days! Just because someone says "merry Christmas" doesn't mean that they're trying to convert your ass! They are just trying to be nice and talk to you, which when not in the 'christmas mood' they wouldn't normally do... Which is sad, but whatever! I'm so effing tired of this shit! If it offends you, get a tissue, and wipe the PC tears off your Jewel-emo "I'm sensitive and I'd like to stay that way" face! Ohh, and by the way? Don't get pissed if someone doesn't say 'merry Christmas'. They may not be Christian, but they're trying to be nice in this season as well... You know; like what others do when they say 'merry christmas'... God damn! Just take it like it is, chew on it and swallow. I would like to close this with a merry Christmas, and a picture of how I'm feeling about this subject. I hope your winter goes swimmingly. Love you all. If anyone would like to debate this, please feel free.

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Here @ Aja's [Dec. 10th, 2005|08:02 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |anxiousanxious]
[mE mUSIc |Stevie Wonder "Higher ground"]

I am using Aja's Apple laptop, and trying not to spell a whole lot of words with the letter 'e' because the 'e' button is missing, so you have to push this empty space type thing. It's cool though, I'm really tired lately, and I am getting ready to leave her house and go to the Silver swing thing where I am singing one song and then trying to do a little of my fifteen page paper for Tuesday. I am also going to sleep over Aja's tonight, and we are going to use her video camera to tape us doing silly things. It will be fabulous! Ryan has a show tonight, and this will be the first show that I have ever missed. I'm sad, but I'm singing as well. Which is just as good. I am so tired.... I need to lose a lot of weight, I have gained so much weight since Ryan and I have started seeing eachother. I'm nervous. I keep missing my que to come in for the last part of the song. Baaaah! .....Fat.... 

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Pie, cake, more pie... Oh yeah, and turkey. [Nov. 27th, 2005|07:27 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |fullfull]
[mE mUSIc |random radio songs]

To those of you who don't know, I no longer eat meat. I do however eat seafood. There was a lot of turkey, and homemade pork stuffing to not eat. but I did it! woo go me. Ryan's birthday was the day after thanksgiving this year. Some years, it's on thanksgiving, so we had cake. Then on his birthday (day after thanksgiving) we had somemore cake. Then on Sat, my momma made some cake. I did not partake, but god damn! Ohh, by the way, there were like five different kinds of PIE at Ryan's thanksgiving... It was weird... They like pie.

I also got a card for my ex, Adam. I hope he likes it. The only thing? I need him to send me his new addy. I was at Big Lots, and I was looking through the cards, I noticed that there was the SMALLEST section of chaunaka cards. I looked through, and picked one out for him. We havent talked in a long time. I just don't want to not talk to him.. I suppose it's partly my fault.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RINO! This will be a birthday cake that I will make for you in future years. Okay?


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I love my friends [Nov. 19th, 2005|11:51 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |tiredtired]
[mE mUSIc |Route 66 (commercial using the song.. I hate that)]

hello all! I just wanted to keep some people updated. I'm a little stressed out right now, but lately Ryan's been helping me with that. ::winks:: I would also like to stress that I absolutely LOVE all of my friends! I'm feeling like the show is going to be a sucess. My co-director Admanda... Her grandfather dies recently, and she's not oging ot be able to help out for a while, but it's okay because I've pretty much done all of the things we have to do. I've skipped classes lately, and that's something I don't want to do, and that I shouldn't do. OPEN MIC on MONDAY! I can only go for like five minutes and then I have my first meeting with the cast for this year's Vagina Monologues. I love my friends. Every one of them. And tomorrow (Sunday), I'm going to hang out with my friend Jimmy and him I, and some other girl are going to see the new Harry Potter movie. I'm excited to be seeing him tomorrow. ::Smiles:: I love friends. I love Leah, and Lina, and Aja, and Eric, and Jimmy, and Ryan B., and ALL of my friends. I just wanted to let everyone know. ::smiles::

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Here we go [Nov. 16th, 2005|10:19 am]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |stressedstressed]

I don't really know what I'm doing here. For the first two years that I was here, I didn't know what I wanted to be so I stayed undeclared, and then I wanted to do theatre. I wanted to be a actor... But we all know how THAT turned out. I still want to be an actor, but not here. So, I want to leave here with some sort of major in SOMETHING. I'm going to the; I think it's the undergraduate studies place. It's in Sphere. Anywho, life been really bussy, and I miss hanging with Eric and Aja. I was supposed to call her back the other day about hanging with her, but I had my presentation to study for, plus I have vagina monologue things to take care of. I didn't know I was going to be THAT time consuming....
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long time no Vagina!! [Nov. 14th, 2005|05:04 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |busybusy]
[mE mUSIc |Palystation through the wall next door]

So, I'm the director of the Vagina Monologues this year, and I'm already a little stressed out.. Hmmm. Anywho, I'm liking the people that we've casted, I'm just having trouble casting one out of two people, and on another note, I HAD a misunderstanding with one guy, that led to two more men in the production... ::le sigh:: I'm just really bussy, and feel like nothing is being done to help me.. But then again, I'm probably just paranoid, and people are helping me,,, I just don't know it?? Blah! All things shooved aside.. WE GOT BOYDE! yes, that's right! The prodution is moving from the 'hellish' hyde 220, to Boyde 144 this year! I worked my ass off, but we finally got it!! I still need to talk to the police about the parking incident, but it looks like blue skies. The best part about having it in boyde? More seats= more $. This is a non-profit play, and 85% of the proceeds go to help battered, molested, and genital mutilated women and girls all around the world, and to build shelters to house and help battered girls and women! And then The last 15% goes to where we choose. This year we've decided Planned Parenthood will be our benifactors. This will be SO great! I can't wait to start working with people and see my 'baby' come to 'life'! WISH ME LUCK, ALL!!

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I JACK, the pumpkin king... [Oct. 31st, 2005|03:24 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |tiredtired]
[mE mUSIc |Jack's Lement #1]

That's right! I AM the pumpkin king! Over the weekend I carved a pumpkin for the pumpkin carving contest that prospect dinimg hall is holding. I carved Jack Skellington from Tim Burton's nightmare before christmas. I think it looks pretty good considering this is the first pumpkin that I've ever sculpted/carved. I used only one spoon, and one knife. I think it to be pretty good. People should vote for mine. I put a lot of effort into this, and I think I have a pretty good shot at winning a slot in the contest. There are five categories: funniest, cutest, scariest, and two others labeled "other." I think mine might go under the "Other" category, considering that it's a character from a movie. I dunno.I am going to ask Leah if she could take a picture of it with her digital camera later on tonight, so I might be able to put the pics of my pumpkin on LJ. WOooo! Vote Heidi! But in the mean time, here are some regular pics of Jack to look at; so one might compare them to the carving at a later date. This is the face I tried to mimic.

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So I have to tell the world ::smiles:: [Oct. 28th, 2005|10:43 am]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |complacentcomplacent]
[mE mUSIc |Childern outside]

Aja and I were going somewhere inher car. It was raining out, and she was trying to back out of her driveway... In the complete dark, and her windows were steamed. She was backing out onto the grass, and said " I don't know where I am, I'm probably in the middle of a ditch!" I thought it hilarous and though of a better scenario that her funny sentence would be even FUNNIER! I pictured her lost and sacard and calling me from her cell. I would ask her where she was, she would look around and say said statement. HA! I love Aja, she's fuuuunny. We also watched home movies later that night. Yay for new found friends!!

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MONO? [Oct. 24th, 2005|03:40 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |tiredtired]
[mE mUSIc |Amanda is here!!]

I'm really tired. Help!

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You'll never believe me... No. I don't need the light. [Oct. 23rd, 2005|12:22 am]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |contentcontent]
[mE mUSIc |The TV in the background]

So today I worked in the costume shop, and then I went to the HUB to sit down before going to get brunch. On my way walking to the HUB, I noticed two guys looking; staring at me through the HUB window. They just kept staring and smiling at eachother and then snikering kind of. So I walked into the HUB, walked towards them, and stopped like four feet away and just stood there until they looked at me again. When they did, I walked up to their little cafe chair/table thing, and said "Congrats dudes! You two won a prize for the people to stare most rudely at my hair and not care that I saw you!"... They seemed a little 'confused', thne one said "What do we win?" I leaned over and said "You get to touch it, since it fasinates you that much.. Go ahead!" They declined my offer, so I smiled politely and walked away. It felt so good. PS I was not paranoid, they totally were looking at my hair because I saw one of them making jestures to his own, and then I heard them say (when I walked in) "Why would anyone do that to their hair?" I felt justified, and it felt good to call them on it. Le sigh. I also went to applebees with my romie Leah, and her boyfriend, Marc. I love them. Good people. Speaking of good people, I went to Aja and Eric's again, and it was totally fun.. I had a couple of moments where I was a little sad for reasons that I will not mention, butother than that, it was a blast! I love friends. All of them.

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hell yeah [Oct. 19th, 2005|11:45 am]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |crazycrazy]
[mE mUSIc |none]

<td align="center">

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stolen from Eric [Oct. 19th, 2005|10:57 am]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |hungryhungry]
[mE mUSIc |Leah's fishies]

Name: Heidi
Single or taken: taken
Sex: female (as if the name doesn't do it for you)
Birthday: 1/11

Sign: Capricorn.. Did I spell that right?
Siblings: One brother
Hair color: Pink. Real hair color under the pink? Blonde
Eye color: Green, blue, yellow, and a little brown.
Height: 5'2" I GREW AN INCH!!!

• R E L A T I O N S H I P S •
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: boyfriend.. I love him
How many exes do you have?: ummm... seven to ten.. I'm not entirely sure
What is your longest relationship?: almost three years.
What was your shortest relationship?: A week

• F A S H I O N | S T U F F •
Where is your favorite place to shop for clothes?: Goodwill, Salvation Army, Second Comings, AMERICAN EAGLE
Any tattoos or piercings?: I got a bellybutton ring, my ears and cartilage, and a tattoo on my butt cheek
What do you usually wear?: Whatever... I like hats?

• S P E C I F I C S •
Do you do drugs?: No
What kind of shampoo do you use?: Let me check.. Herbal essences
What are you most scared of?: Clowns... I'm alone and freaked out....
Who is the last person that called you?: Ryan
How many buddies are online right now?: I've got AOL, but I'm never on, and I'm not checking.
What would you change about yourself?: To lose 50 pounds

• F A V O R I T E S •
Colors: Red, blue, green, black.
Foods: Corned beef hash, Berries of all kinds! Woo!
Girls names: Therrien
Boys names: Caden
Subjects in school: Acting, writing
Animals: humpback whale

• C U R R E N T •
Clothes: No undergarments, I've got on a green PSU tee, black sweat pants, and some socks.
Music: Any but country and jesus music.
Annoyance: school
Smell: Leah's fishies
Cd in player: Ella Fitzgerald
DVD in player: I have no DVD player... Why doesn't htis quiz cater to VHS people!?!?!? WHYYYYY!!?

• L A S T | P E R S O N •
You touched: Besides me, Marybeth.
Hugged: Marybeth
You IMed: Andy.. Like months ago
You yelled at: Ryan
You kissed: Ryan

• A R E | Y O U •
Understanding: For the most part
Open-minded: hell yeah
Arrogant: What does this word mean?
Insecure: Most of the time.. I mean, nooooo... I'm never insecure... I thought you said do you skewer.. Like meat...
Random: Just look at me and find out.
Hungry: Yes
Smart: when the occasion calls for it
Moody: yes... Once a month? HELL yeah!
Hard Working: when im "in the mood"
Organized: not really
Shy: Never.
Difficult: Leah says "Sometimes you can be difficult"
Attractive: Yes? Ryan tells me I am....
Bored easily: YES! You finally get me!
Trusting: I am SO turstworthy... With secrets... With being ontime is a differnt story.
Good at remembering: What? Who is this? Have we meet? Where am I?

• W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A •
Kill?: No one. No one should kill anyone! God damnit!
Get really wasted with?: Leah, Lina, and Aja
Get high with: I don't know
Talk to offline: Everyone
Talk to online: No one.. I don't use it often enough... Okay.. Jimmy.

• R A N D O M •
In the morning I: Wake up intangled in Ryan
All you need is: Love
Love is: Peace
I dream about: Flying, and teaching people how to do it. I get orgasms while flying. I wake happy.

• W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R •
Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi
Flowers or candy: Flowers. Unless I'm crapping, thne chocolate.
Tall or short: Being short is the shit!

• W H O •
Makes you smile: Ryan
Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: Ryan

• D O | Y O U | E V E R •
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to
IM you?: I've done it before. I have him now. It was worth it.
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Yes. Sometimes.
Wish you were younger: No
Cry because someone said something to you?: Yes

• N U M B E R •
Of times I have had my heart broken: Lots
Of hearts I have broken: Lots
Of boys/girls kissed: Lots.
Of CD's I own: around fifty.. That's it.
Of scars on my body: About ten?
Of things that I regret: None. If I hadn't done what I did to get here, I wouldn't be here, and wouldn't be with Ryan. I would do it all again.

• Y O U R | T H O U G H T S •
I know: The meaning of life
I want: To be thinner...
I wish: I had the Powerball or a lot of money so I could give to the homeless, and run for president.
I fear: We've already talked about this... Clowns! okay?!
I hear: What's closest to me.
I wonder: What has happened to my old red shoes? Has some homeless person been wearing them and having the time of their life? Will I ever run into my shoes again? Huh?
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Anyone?? [Oct. 14th, 2005|02:33 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |boredbored]
[mE mUSIc |BOred bored bored bored bored bored]

So today is proving to suck.. The money out of my pockets that is. I just recently had to purchase a $50 makeup kit for my costume construction class; but I have two days to return it so I can ask around to see if anyone has a left over one.. I guess it's not so bad. I also met Hare, Leah's friend from... I don't know where... But I like her. She seems a little shy right now, but I have a feeling that when we're all eating chinese tonight, it'll be different. So now I'm off to see Ryan at his work, and then to the gym, and then to shower, and then to chinese... The rest of the night I have not planned yet. Does anyone have any fun ideas??

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MY EFFIN' HEART!! [Oct. 12th, 2005|01:51 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |curioushmmmmmm]
[mE mUSIc |cell pohne ringing, and scaring the F outta me!]


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I got some EVERY FLAVOR beans! [Oct. 10th, 2005|01:31 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |happyhappy]
[mE mUSIc |Ryan.. Woo!]

woo! I love my roomie. Her boy and her went to I Party and got soem stuff, and got me some every flavor beans! there's a really gross one that tastes like rotten egg, sardines, and vomit... The grass and the dirt ones aren't so bad... Seeing as they really taste like dirt and grass... I'm going to save some for people of chice to try. By the way, Mitches was totally rad! I got a standing ovation. I was really surprised, but it was really fun. After Mitches, Ryan and I picked up another Ryan off the street (he was walking to Subway) and went to Aja and Eric's place. I love them. It was fun. We listened to music, made music; Ryan (mine) and Eric were free-styling Aja was playing piano, the other Ryan was drumming, and I was listing and laughing my head off! haha! I love these guys! We ate food, and the last thing before we left; we all sat down and made a poem! We each had a line, and it is FABULOUS! If anyone's interested, we'll be reading it (All of us) at the next open mic at Biederman's Not this Tues, but next. Either way, I love you all!

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Yay!! leave me comments! [Oct. 6th, 2005|08:46 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |creativecreative]
[mE mUSIc |my brain thinking of notes for the song]

Song I wrote to sing.

Flames in a Cup

I know you want to give up on humanity
But keep on making your faith a bigger hill
to climb
Toss the people out
Like friendly matches
To light the flame
Of a new day… yeah.

Little girl, only six
He thought he could
Be a little something sicker
Than what he had planned,
So he took her.
It was his dick in his hand.
She was just; six

She was only fifteen
And birthing her baby
Nothing more than a little lady,
Her daddy’s baby.
No matter hard he hit now
She’ll never go back,
With her child by her side,
she’ll never go back.

The black, blues, and swelling
eventually go down,
And people, still people, might
soon come around

Heidi Therrien

I called it 'flames in a cup', because I was at a candle light vigil tonight. I"m going to be performing this song tomorrow at Mitches. Come see!
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P.S. [Oct. 6th, 2005|01:42 pm]
[OhH, tHE mOoD I'm IN |jealousjealous]
[mE mUSIc |that puppy]

this is what her puppy looks like. His name is Boot.

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